Sunday, June 1, 2008

Contemplations on Sorry vs. Thank You

I have noticed something in the last 4 months with Jake being away. There are people who are thankful for what Jake (and I) are doing and going through and then there are those who are sorry. Not peace-activist-protest-make-love-not-war-war-is-not-the-answer sorry (I know that is a long adjective - I was at a loss for a better word), but rather sorry that it has to be us and that this is a horrible thing. If not us, then who? Every soldier has a family and a story.

I have distinguished a difference in these two responses to my husband being away. Now I am not trying to make over-all assumptions, but this is what I have found in my own experience. Anyone who says "I'm sorry" or "I'm sorry this has to be you" or "I'm sorry you have to do this all on your own" or any one of the many other "I'm Sorry" phrases Jake and I have heard typically do not have military in their recent heritage. Those that have served, or had close family or friends serve, and who understand the real picture of serving in the military simply say "Thank you" or "Thank you for what you are doing". They understand that is a type of service. The first group of people probably see it as service too, but are they sorry my husband chose to serve them? Maybe they just don't know what to say. But what am I suppose to respond with other than "It's okay".

It makes me feel better inside and more appreciated when people simply say "Thank you for what you are doing." I am not sorry my husband is defending our freedoms. I am not sorry I am a mom, even if I am kind of doing it the single parent way right now (not to say it isn't difficult at times or that Jake isn't helping in every way that he can). This is how our life is turning out, and we knew that it would probably be this way. If I wasn't up to take it on I wouldn't have married Jake and Jake wouldn't have joined the army during 2 wars.

I am not seeking for praise or gratitude of other people, these are just my thoughts lately. My only wish is that people would understand that I am doing okay. Yes, I miss Jake terribly. There is no reason to be sorry for freedom - that is what our nation is built upon and built for. Thousands upon thousands have died for this freedom, mainly to pass it on to future generations. Plus, being sorry just brings this negative tone when right now we are accentuating the positive.

I don't want people to feel sorry or bad for me. I am honored to be holding up the fort back home while Jake is away defending our freedom, religion, and way of life. And, we really are doing fine and awaiting the day Daddy comes back to live with us. Please, if you meet a soldier or spouse of a soldier, just say thank you.

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